I am glad to hear you are helping yourself to it and taking care of your own pleasure. Ultimately no one can give us an orgasm, instead we need to let ourselves accept their stimulation, touch and connection to be able to achieve climax with them. That is the one of the most important elements to having a satisfying sex life! But to answer your question, yes this is normal or common. Most women can not achieve orgasm from intercourse alone. Adding a toy or your own hand is often all that is needed. If we are talking about other types of sex, my guess is that you have not let your lovers know what kind of touch works for you. Start by letting him know what feels good. This may feel uncomfortable at first but I assure you he will enjoy knowing you are engaged and turned on. You can say something along the lines of ” that feels so good.. just a little this way” Or tell him how turned on your are and that you want.. “harder”, “softer”, etc. As he starts to get the right spots/ techniques you will get out of your head more and relax into enjoying his touch. Whether you have to help out or not, stay focussed on enjoying yourself and your partner!